I made my coffee, fixed the dogs their breakfast. Then I sat down to eat my breakfast and look over my 'training notes'...and remembered our last session on sheep.
Training Objective: 'Walk-About' to work on pace, balance and hopefully not fall and break my neck.
Let me share what really happened...
"Lie down" thinking to myself "please please please stay there and let me get to the sheep...please".
Bonnie says "I am only laying down because the sheep are in the corner and the fence is right there - not because I respect you nimrod".
Bonnie I am walking back wards...why are you trying to go to their heads and get behind me? WTF?
That is better, please slow down
You are doing it again....
Yes, behind them...that is where I want you.
Hey, KNOCK IT OFF! Don't bite the sheep! What did that sheep do to you?
Easy now...getting there
Stand, STAND! STAND DAMMIT! Why are the evil ones so pretty?
Bonnie stop pushing the sheep against me so hard, I am going to fall down AGAIN!
Uhhh Bonnie...'THERE!" Wait, no...STOP! STAND! LIE DOWN! SLOW DOWN SPEED RACER!
Please stop? *sobbing*
Voice in head says "GO SOMEWHERE - let her keep the sheep with you"
Bonnie you are supposed to keep them with me, not scatter them like bowling pins! GAH!
Lets try this again...Go somewhere...pant, wheeze, gasp...
Can't breathe....must. eat. less...why did I stop going to Curves again?
I am running...why is she running faster? Hey..I am staying ahead of the sheep. This is a good thing - but I am going to have a coronary.
Please stop, my heart is going to explode...right here...will make mess.
Thank doG I am against the fence...because I think I am going to hurl.
Lie down....PLEASE! NO! Not that way!
Oh fine....then....*sigh*... must run to center of field again...
Oh, doG I am in the corner - they are coming right at me! This is gonna hurt!
Back out in the middle....cripes...lets try this again
There.. need to end on a good note. Bonnie STOP! Stand...Lie Down...DAMMIT
She finally did lie down, only because I collapsed in a shuddering heap of sweat and drool. I think it was a 'pity' lie down.
After reviewing this last training session, I walked over to the pantry, took out the bottle of Irish Cream and added a hefty dollop to my coffee. Took a taste and dumped a bunch more into the pot. Today we stayed home... What is on pay per view?