No more hiding it with control top pantyhose or good ole fashioned elastic 'suck-em-in' undies. When your upper arms are almost as big as your waist - that should be a reality check. When your tummy sticks out further than the 'girls'- whoa Nelly, time to see Jenny Craig.
Reality came home to roost the other night when we were out with the dogs.
John, my lovely thinner husband (I hate him & his metabolism) was snapping pictures. As usual I kept shrieking in my fishwife tone "DON'T GET ME IN THE PICTURE!" I hate my picture being taken, it is like being slapped in the face with an old smelly shoe - distastefully unpleasant.
The next day when I was reviewing the pictures that were taken, looking for good ones of the dogs....I found this
My husband clearly was not listening to the shrieking about not getting me in the shots. Either he is a terrible photographer or he was trying to send me a message (that he will pay for later). What other purpose is there for these pictures?
Beyond displaying my questionable fashion choices?
He doesn't know it yet, but he is a dead man.
I look like the Michelin Tire Man with boobs
This isn't a surprise. I am not completely blind and we have mirrors in the house.
How did this happen? I quit smoking last year (viola - 50 lb gain). Stress in my life is triggering some out of control emotional eating (I can blame another 50 lbs on that). Since I became unemployed - woohooo slap another 25 lbs on my hips.
Bottom line (ahem, correction: very LARGE bottom-line) - this happened because I have shoved more calories in my mouth than my body has burned. WOOHOO! Light bulb moment there huh? 'Doh!
The perplexing thing is... something about being heavy has been emotionally working for me to this point. Why else would I have allowed this to happen?
I need to lose an entire person. Sweet...maybe I feel like I dont have enough friends, so I haul one around with me every day? WTF kind of thinking is that?
It makes me think of that Oprah Winfrey episode after she lost all her weight (the first time) and she hauled that huge wagon full of fat onto the stage.
Every time I climb out of bed, go for a walk, get out of my chair...anything - I am schlepping all of that with me.
The reality is, how can I train my dogs adequately when I am so fat I can barely bend over to tie my shoes?
--I need the energy to chase them around the field.
--I need to know that if I fall I can get back up again (important in fields full of manure)
--I want to walk without pain (arthritis & plantar fasciitis can bite my overly large butt)
--I really want to see the tops of my thighs again (other than in a mirror)
--I don't want to feel disabled by my weight (airplanes are the WORST!)
--I want to wear cute rain gear - not the extra large size roofing tarp I wore this winter
--I want to feel good about myself (I never really have....ever).
--I want to live a nice long life.
How am I going to accomplish this? Egads.... (insert panic attack here). I have NEVER been on a diet in my life. I also have never joined any type of fitness club. Just going into those places was like sticking my hand in boiling water - stupid & incredibly painful.
I know I need more exercise in a safe nurturing environment - preferably without men present.
So... this morning I joined 'Curves'. I have committed myself to going three days a week. Curves is only 1.5 miles from my house & very easy to get to. I also signed up for a weight loss program and the first class is next Saturday
Today I went shopping for good sensible food. Tomorrow I clean out the pantry and fridge and make out the menu for the next week.
I am making baby steps that hopefully will some day enable me to run ... because if I tried to run now I would kill myself.